Sunday, May 06, 2018

Dear Stephanie: Another Letter, 7 Years Later

Dear Stephanie,

It's been 7 years since we had coffee at that beautiful "Bogani Cafe" that changes its name, owner and theme every few years (Remember when it was "Cappuccino Affair" in high school?).  Seven years since that last day we saw you, at that mock British pub in a shopping mall with eclectic stained glass windows. Since the funeral, and our dark visit to a restaurant afterwards, somehow managing to swallow your favourite cocktail - the Paralyzer.

Lucky number 7.  This is the year the necklace broke. The memory locket Meghan and I bought identicals of a few weeks after you left us. I wore it almost every day, and now I only have a silver chain dangling, missing the heart, a collapsed clasp neatly put away in a drawer in my jewellery box. I suppose I'll fix or replace it, but it's not the same. The photo is almost gone from fading, the clasp cracked, the chain replaced half a dozen times.

I know I'm a few months late with this memory post, that I secretly and childishly wish your spirit somehow reads every year. I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and thinking about your family, too. Mother's Day in England is in March, but here in Spain is May 6th,  and in Canada is May 13th. So, over the past week I've been thinking about families, and about you.

I'm hoping you're reading this, like the ghosts you used to be so fascinated with, or some kind of reincarnate, or something. Morgan continued with your and her Paranormal Investigators group, Entity Seeker, and published a book this year, did you know?
Buy Book Here:


This year, my post in your memory is simple - no poem like 2016, or fancy life update like last year.

Just a letter.

My Life In 2018

 I've been so stressed with the PhD, teaching, finding a way to stay in Barcelona, and finding time for The Teaching Cove, the new blog I launched at the end of 2016.  Oh, and I'm continuing my intense personal training and have added swimming lessons. Although it seems like a never-ending battle, I'm on a quest to figure out why the fitness training is not working, and the weight loss is going so slowly, despite being completely healthy and eating so well. How I'm so, so strong now, and can run and lift weights and am fitter than ever, but the fat won't budge.

I know you'd tell me that I'll get there. That visualization is the key - and I believe it. You know more than anyone how impatient I am, though!

So, there's not a whole lot to report, to be honest. I'm powering through the PhD so that it can be over.  When that's done, I can finally focus my energy on building a business and career I love through my blog. Visualizing the future I want.

Stephanie Wertz, I am always missing you. I know that's a strange tense to use, but it's true. Whether I'm wearing that half-broken necklace around my neck or not, you are in my thoughts, in my dreams, reminding me to keep going, to take breaks, to keep visualizing the future I want, to never stop imagining. 

I'll be home this summer for my sister's wedding, and I haven't been in Edmonton in almost 4 years. I'll have a coffee with whipped cream for you at Bogani Cafe, your favourite.

I'm sad you never made it to Europe. You would love it here. I love it here, and am excited to live the rest of my life in this city, as much as I love to travel and move around. I would love to take you to wineries and vineyards and castles and the Mediterranean Sea, and so, so much more. Sometimes, I walk along the beach or in the park and imagine you are here, too. 

Wherever your spirit or your energy is, I hope you are happy and safe, and that someday we will meet again.

Lots of love xxx


P.S. Dear readers, if you'd like to see my other annual tributes to Steph they are here:  201120122013201420152016, 2017

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